What you can do about that talk, talk, talk

“I’ve had it.”

A board member of an organization to which I belong said this. She quit because another member monopolized meetings with her chatter. Chances are you may know a compulsive talker or two. You may wonder, how do others cope?

“Our Bible study group includes one woman who does go on,” says Russ. “Our leader will say something like, ‘Perhaps we could discuss that a little later; that point isn’t relevant.’” But the people in whose homes the meetings occur lead the group. Not all of them possess the assertiveness to stanch the verbiage, says Marian, Russ’s wife. (“. . .You can all have opportunity to give a message, one after another, and everyone will learn. . .”  I Corinthians, 14:29)

A therapist I know says, “Shock treatment may be necessary for compulsive talkers.” He uses it with his brother, who spreads words with abandon. “He’s talking to himself, not me,” the therapist says. “Sometimes I just walk out.”

Edith is selective. “If it’s someone I like, I’ll put up with it,” she says. When a friend got carried away, Edith said, “Stop! I’d like to get a word in edgewise.”

What happened?

“Oh, she laughed it off, and apologized for going on,” Edith says. Yes. They’re still friends.

Samuel Johnson liked the word “bustle” for activity he regarded as foolish. The late San Francisco Chronicle columnist Charles McCabe employed it. “The worst of all bustling is the verbal kind,” he said. “A silence lasting no more than a few seconds seems to threaten some people in some way. There is a necessity to fill that silence, fill it with anything that comes to mind . . .”

Doctors call the condition “logorrhea.” McCabe said one treatment works, even though it’s brutal. “You just stare at the person and say, ‘You talk too much.’ The result may be a punch in the nose. But you also get quite a much desired silence.”

Gloria employs the Golden Rule. When her apartment complex neighbors emit unending effluvia, “I listen to them,” she says. “I let them talk. They’re lonely. Some of them have no family around. They’re usually pleasant people.”